


Only Time

by old fics (Lothiriel84)



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-04
Updated: 2012-09-04
Packaged: 2017-11-13 13:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/504101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lothiriel84/pseuds/old%20fics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Who can say why your heart sighs / as your love flies - only time / And who can say why your heart cries / when your love lies - only time" (Enya)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She curled up on the sofa and closed her eyes. _This can't be happening_ , she told herself for the umpteenth time.

Up to that moment they had been reasonably happy – as happy as two broken people like her and Jane could ever be. But now…

She tensed, hearing the front door opening. Jane had finally come home. She couldn't postpone her confession anymore.

"Hey, darling – what's wrong?"

He sat down next to her and gently rubbed his hand on her back. As she slowly looked up he could see that she had been crying.

"Come on, Teresa, it can't be so bad".

She drew a deep breath, then blurted out: "I'm pregnant".

Jane suddenly froze. There was no hint of joy into his eyes – just fear and pain.

"Are you sure?", he whispered after a full minute of silence.

Teresa nodded. He let his hand drop, averting his gaze from her face.

"I… I can't…"

"I'm sorry, Patrick".

The quiet desperation in her voice was more than he could bear. For a brief moment his fingers grazed her cheek, then he was gone.

When the door closed behind him, Teresa buried her head into the cushions and wept again.


	2. Chapter 2

Her team had mercifully avoided any comment about how terrible she looked that morning.

It was when they were discussing their new case that Grace ventured to ask: "Where is Jane? Why hasn't he come yet?"

"He's not coming", Teresa stated in a matter-of-fact voice. "He's… gone".

There was a thick silence.

"Gone… where?"

"I don't know. Away. And I'm afraid he's not coming back".

"But… why on Earth…?"

Teresa desperately fought back her tears. "He just… doesn't want to be a father again".

Rigsby nearly dropped his mug full of coffee. "This means you are…"

"Pregnant. Yes, I am".

"And Jane left you? I never thought he was such a coward".

"I knew he didn't want any children. He had told me before we got married – and I agreed with him. I didn't mean for this to happen. It just… well, happened".

"He's an idiot, anyway", Cho finally pointed out.

Teresa shrugged. She actually couldn't blame Jane – not after all he'd been through.

"I think it's better if we focus on the case".

However, her hand unconsciously moved to cover her belly. She really hoped that Jane would eventually change his mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Jane simply couldn't sleep. He kept on tossing and turning in bed – an anonymous bed in an anonymous hotel room, somewhere in an insignificant small town. In Maine.

During the past nine months he had roamed across the whole country, and he had finally reached the State which was farthest from California.

Anyway, he had discovered that the old saying – _out of sight, out of mind_ – just didn't apply to him. For he couldn't stop thinking about Teresa and the baby. _His_ baby.

He hoped they were safe and sound. He really hoped that they could be happy – despite what he had done to them.

He felt guilty about forsaking them. Yet it was the best thing he could do. It didn't matter if that added even more weight to his already heavy burden. He did deserve it.

It was nearly four o'clock in the morning when weariness finally overcame him, and he sunk into an uneasy slumber.

He thought he heard a familiar voice calling him in his sleep. It was Charlotte's voice – yet he couldn't see her.

" _I'm here, sweetheart", he answered. There was a pause, then his daughter came to him._

_He smiled at her, but she didn't return his smile. She was clearly angry with him._

" _Where is my little brother, daddy? Why aren't you with him?"_

" _Charlotte, I… can explain…"_

_His little girl suddenly started crying. "You left him alone… you left him…"_

" _No, no… Charlotte, please…"_

He woke up, his breath uneven – tears running freely on his cheeks.

He couldn't stay there a minute longer. He jumped from the bed, grabbed his clothes and quickly left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

The baby had finally fallen asleep. Teresa put him into his crib, and silently watched him – his face now peaceful, his little hands clutching at his bib.

Of course she had seen other babies before, and yet… she couldn't help wondering at how small and perfect her newborn baby was.

"How I wish that you father was here…", she whispered softly.

It took her a few moments to realize that someone was ringing the bell.

She frowned. Who could it be? She wasn't expecting any visit.

When she opened the door, her heart skipped a beat.

"Jane!"

They both stood still for what seemed an eternity.

"May I come in just for a minute?", Jane pleaded at last.

"Yes. Yes, of course".

He let himself drop on the sofa. His face was pale and drawn, and he looked on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Suddenly afraid of the silence, Teresa forced herself to speak.

"Patrick, what…?". Her voice trailed off.

"How are you?", he asked anxiously.

"I'm fine", she managed to answer.

"And… the baby… is he fine too?". He just couldn't keep control of his voice anymore.

"Yes. He's fine. He… is nearly a week old now".

"So she was right. It's a boy", he nodded – as if he was speaking to himself.

Teresa kneeled in front of him. "Patrick, look at me".

Unwillingly, his eyes met hers.

"What's going on?", she asked gently.

"I… I know that I shouldn't have come. It's just… I had a dream… it scared me".

"A dream? What kind of dream?"

"I dreamt of Charlotte… she kept on asking where did I leave her baby brother. And suddenly I was afraid".

She soothingly stroked his hair. "Why were you afraid, Patrick?"

"I thought that maybe something had happened to you or to the baby… even if I was far away".

His last words were so low that she hardly heard them. Yet she did. And suddenly she felt the whole room spinning around, as realization hit her.

_That's why he had left. He wanted to protect her and the baby. From himself._

She wrapped her arms around his neck. He tried to resist for a moment, then he gave in and buried his face on her shoulder.

"You idiot… how could you ever believe that something could happen to us because of you".

"Because it did – with Angela and Charlotte. I can't bear the thought of causing the death of another innocent child".

"That's why you didn't want any children, then".

"Yes", he reluctantly admitted.

She wiped away his tears with her fingers. "You could have told me".

"I knew what you'd have replied… that things are different now that Red John is dead".

"Things _are_ different, Jane".

"You can't be sure. Maybe one day I'm going to anger another serial killer, or something like that".

"No, you're not. Because I'll keep watch on you, you know".

"You'll… what do you mean?"

"That from now on you're not going anywhere. Not without me and our baby, anyway".

"Teresa…"

"Just shut up, Jane".

He did shut up, and allowed himself to relax into her arms. He couldn't even remember the last time he had been so happy.

Tentatively, he placed a kiss on her cheek. "I don't understand why you still want me around".

"Hush. Who's going to take care of you otherwise?"

She kissed him, and they were silent for a while. Then, unexpectedly, she covered his eyes with her hand.

"Don't move. Keep your eyes closed", she whispered in his ear.

A few minutes later he felt a small, warm bundle being placed into his arms.

"You can look now", Teresa said – a hint of a smile in her voice.

The sight of their baby fast asleep into his arms simply took his breath away. He felt new tears trickling down his face. Yet they were tears of joy, this time.

"He's so… beautiful". Words just failed him.

Teresa sat down next to him and wrapped an arm around his waist. "He's taken after his father".

She dropped her head on his shoulder.

"I've called him Matthew. I hope you don't mind".

Jane nuzzled her hair. "I like it. Why did you choose Matthew?"

She blushed slightly. "It means _gift of God_ , you know".

"Gift of God", he repeated slowly. "Yeah, you're right. I think it's perfect for him".


End file.
